Last year I’d written about my experiences with Social Prescribing a service that was offered to me by my GP after speaking to them about my issues with anxiety flaring up. I had a few sessions which I had written about (you can read it here). Sadly I began to feel that they weren’t helping and I ended up cancelling several appointment. I explained to the counsellor Selena how I was feeling, she was very understanding. After Christmas I received a message inviting me back for another session. At first I was apprehensive about it but ultimately I decided that I should give it another try.
Why I Stopped
For some reason I never actually spoke in depth about why I stopped going to the sessions. I guess as I mentioned above I felt they weren’t helping, which I don’t feel that they were but also I was feeling anxious about going to the meetings.
Selena the counsellor is so nice and doesn’t judge whatever I say during our sessions, but the idea of getting to the session was causing me so much anxiety. I would have to get two buses, then met my pops so he could mind alex for me, it feel to much of a hassle.
First Session Back
I had my first session back a few days ago. I’m not going to lie I was a little apprehensive going, I did a one point considering cancelling again. Thankfully though I didn’t. The session went really well, I think at one point when she asked how I’d been doing, I blurted everything out. Telling her about coming off my medication, my nightmare neighbours, how my pain has been stopping me, and my guilt for not fun things with Alex and David
It was really good to get it all of my chest. Of course I’d spoken to family and friends about it, but this seemed different. Telling a strange was what I needed. Selena was really understanding. We came to the conclusion that the anxiety that I had been feeling although not completely gone, it’s somewhat under control. I explained that when I feel the all to familiar knots of anxiety building I try to (but not always successfully) tell myself that the situation is temporary. Lately the majority of my anxiety is from our new neighbours who are a complete nightmare and are the most inconsiderate people I’ve ever had the displeasure of living near.
I mentioned that it is in fact my pain, or the idea of exasperating pain that is stopping me from doing things and going places. We talked about the need to conserve energy and that making plans isn’t as straight forward as it might seem as no two days are the same. I said that if I there is an event of occasion coming up I need to make sure I don’t over do it on the run up to that day.
During our discussion I had mentioned that I was having issues writing. I wasn’t feeling inspired, or that anything I’d been writing was any good. I mentioned that I was close to stopping.
Moving on from the session. I’ve decided to work on pain management through hopefully attending groups that are available in my area as well as speaking to my GP for a refer to the pain management team at the local hospital.
I’m also going to speak to the GP about being off my medication. With everything that going on from the nightmare neighbours to my moods plummeting I feel that medication is needed. Of course I still wish and hope for another baby, I feel that the winter was maybe the wrong time of year to come off my meds.
Something else that was discussed and I decided to do was a take a social media holiday. I do sometimes feel the pressure on social media to be interesting and popular. I decided to take a week off from social media to see if detoxing will stop me from feeling inadequate.
Thank you for reading